misandry-mermaid:

erosum:

 

get in losers we’re going hetero-crushing

Homosexual Steamroller is the name of my band.

misandry-mermaid:

erosum:

 

image

get in losers we’re going hetero-crushing

Homosexual Steamroller is the name of my band.

Creating Narrative Distance

When I meet with my mentee through the writing program, we generally set aside time for a “freewrite” exercise. Today she selected a prompt from an awesome book I picked up in Portland. I was “supposed” to be writing from the perspective of a literary figure in a book that greatly affected my life (I chose the adoptive mother in Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit)—but I think I summoned a little too much of my maternal grandmother.

Oops.

***

Go tell it on the mountain

                                                over the hills and everywhere

that I am the mother of my daughter

                the selfless mother who adopted this

wretched unwanted child

Forget the ego!  Glory be to God!

I wear modest clothes and lust only for men of

                                the Lord

except certainly not my husband

I just can’t bring myself to pretend

On the one hand,

                                I know it is my wifely duty to please him

but all I want to do is please Him

                and so

I fill my days with prayer,

                                Bible study,

                                song, &

                                worship

I immerse myself in charitable Christian communities

until there is room for nothing else,

                until he is crowded out

I’m not preoccupied; I’m committed

An ardent child of God…

What made you want to become a mother?

A noble question.

I suppose I wanted a follower who

                followed as I do

I couldn’t have predicted who she’d become

                despite my best attempts

Incorrigible

Why didn’t you try for another?

I am an old woman, and getting

                                                older

I’m not sure I could muster the energy

                with which to receive

                the same brand of

                                                disappointment

What if Christ looks at me the way I look at

                                                                                her

                with regret

                with mourning

an estranged parent who

                only wanted to bring her to God

                but could not

because human will cannot always be shepherded

The crook of my staff is empty

She ran away

                                to a greener pasture where

                                I could never permit myself to graze

                Unfenced

                but the soul puts up walls where man

                does not physically place them

***

To be fair, the parallel themes of latent lesbianism and romantic dysfunction and rigid religiosity are uncanny.

swannsavior:

Whoever runs the Taco Bell twitter is pretty cool.

Never mind that their food contains Grade D dog-food-quality meat and that I nearly always regret ingesting any of their products…Taco Bell is pretty witty.

jeebuslouise:

I explained how I am a bit dismorphic at the moment because I don’t look like ANYONE in my family and my mother (who fucking looks just like my aunt and my mommom) says she felt that way too because she was blonde with green eyes. White people are insufferable, I’ll tell you hhhhwwwwat. 

Yeah, we suck (no sarcasm). But I’ve always thought you looked like your momma, especially as an adult!

rutheniel:

gothiccharmschool:

seerofsarcasm:

satamoru:

plintoon:

satamoru:

zoann:

colormecalm:

nonimaginaryfriend:

disgruntledsquids:


Old hag by *veprikov
Being a witch is not the highest paid job in the world.

I JUST FOUND THIS PICTURE AND I’M GOING TO CRY WHY THIS

I JUST WANT HER TO GET HER PRETTY PURPLE HAT AND BE HAPPY

I would kill for a companion piece to this, where she gets her hat..

Im sobbing.

no seriously why hasn’t any replied to this image with a picture of her in the pretty hat c’mon tumblr please

Well it’s not much, but here’s a comic: 
Enjoy!

DEAD

Reblog every one of these happy end comics I don’t even care

I will always reblog this when there are happy ending images that involve the witch getting her pretty purple hat. And yes, the original image makes me sniffly EVERY TIME. 

comics that change endings to happy ones where everyone is okay are so good omg

rutheniel:

gothiccharmschool:

seerofsarcasm:

satamoru:

plintoon:

satamoru:

zoann:

colormecalm:

nonimaginaryfriend:

disgruntledsquids:

Old hag by *veprikov

Being a witch is not the highest paid job in the world.

I JUST FOUND THIS PICTURE AND I’M GOING TO CRY WHY THIS

I JUST WANT HER TO GET HER PRETTY PURPLE HAT AND BE HAPPY

I would kill for a companion piece to this, where she gets her hat..

Im sobbing.

no seriously why hasn’t any replied to this image with a picture of her in the pretty hat c’mon tumblr please

Well it’s not much, but here’s a comic: 
imageimageimageimageimage

Enjoy!

DEAD

Reblog every one of these happy end comics I don’t even care

I will always reblog this when there are happy ending images that involve the witch getting her pretty purple hat. And yes, the original image makes me sniffly EVERY TIME. 

comics that change endings to happy ones where everyone is okay are so good omg

(Source: willardhewitts)

azathfeld:

thebrockway:

hereinidaho:

an-anonymous-friend:

http://goo.gl/0nYefG

Holy crap, one of these is my porn name, too.

Bourbon Lovehandles. 

Holy shit, that works way too well.

Rye Whiskey With Soda Water and a Dash Each of Orange and Chocolate Bitters People Finally Giving up and Refusing to Tolerate My Special-Snowflake Preciousness when Refusing to Order off the Standard Menu

So glad I saw this post that led me to the episode

I think a lot of people don’t understand that when we talk about these issues—blackface, rape jokes, the appropriation of marginalized cultures, and so on—we are having an ethical conversation, not a legal one. There is no thought police. No one’s coming to your house and carting you off to Insensitivity Prison. But you, as a person living on this planet, get to make a choice whether you want to hurt people or help people. Whether you want to listen or shut people out. I can’t imagine why you’d choose “defensive shithead” over “nice lady capable of empathy,” but okey dokey.

deducecanoe:

the-one-blog-to-rule-them-all:

i think it would be neat if netflix doubled as a dating site like “here are 9 other singles in your area that watched supernatural for 12 straight hours”

LOL

Anonymous asked
Shakespeare was queer? I thought he only had affairs with ladies. What dudes did he get it on with?

neoliberalismkills:

dirt-roads:

iseeitcrimson:

swanjolraven:

OH U SWEET SUMMER CHILD

so remember those sonnets, you know, about one hundred and twenty-six of them, the whole thing about “shall i compare thee to a summer’s day”

written to a hot male earl, dude

in 1640 some asshole named john literally had to change all the pronouns in those 126 sonnets because they were super fuckin queer and he was not comfy with how super fuckin queer they were

also, like, casual elizabethan bisexuality? christopher “they who love not tobacco and boys are fools” marlowe? the venetian “tit bridge”, where prostitutes were commanded by official decree to stand around topless to entice men who were bangin’ too many dudes, because there were so many gay men it was becoming a legitimate social problem?

welcome to the wonderful world of “literally everyone in the past was queer”, friend, enjoy your stay

I did not know about this boob bridge. I’m disappointed that it wasn’t still there when I went to Venice.

In other news. ‘Venetian Tit Bridge’ is the name of my new all-girl rock band.

bridge of the tits~